Superhumans On Parade

There are many things in this world that are beyond my ability to comprehend. I don’t get people who choose to fish for catfish by sticking their hands down into a hole for the catfish to swallow. I am dumbfounded by anyone who willingly climbs into a car with a racoon, or any wild animal for that matter. I am at a loss as to why any woman would willingly marry a man with three other wives. I don’t care what they say but a guy who hops from one bed to another everynight is just gross. Then there is that lady on TV with 19 and counting kids. She never stops smiling. I saw her smiling serenely all of the way out the door as the paramedics wheeled one of her kids to an ambulance with a neckbrace, bloody mouth, missing teeth, and broken leg. Just smilin’. Smilin’, smilin’, smilin’.

And…I don’t understand moms who walk in on a mind-bending disaster her kids have created who then have the wherewithal to video it. I have seen several versions of this over the years. There was one where the kids had painted everything in the living room in white paint, including the TV and themselves. The newest version of this is a mom who went to the bathroom and a few minutes later came out to find that her small sons had emptied a five pound bag of flour all over everything.

The part that amazes me the most about these videos is how calm the parents are. It is a simple, soothing, “What are you doing?”

I will be honest here- If I walked in on this kind of disaster there would definitely be some yelling. There would be tears (mine and theirs). It would not be my best mom moment.

So here’s to you, all of you racoon capturing, catfish wrestling, husband sharing superhumans. Cheers to you amazing smiling mother of 19 and counting. And- Kudos to all of you out there who are the rarest and most spectacular of all humans- the video taping, calm in the midst of disaster moms. You are better than I am. I admit it.

Or you are on drugs.