The (Forgotten) Elf On The Shelf

I lost my mind and bought an Elf on The Shelf. It took me all of two days to forget to move it after the little kids went to bed.

“Why didn’t the elf move?” they asked the next morning over breakfast.

“Uhhhh…” I stammered while my teenage daughter snickered behind her french toast sticks. “How do you know he didn’t move? Maybe he likes that spot.”

And then I forgot the next night too. And the next.

The little kids began to discuss the possibility that our elf was a dud.

“Do you pay Santa to have that elf here?”. They wanted to know. “Because he’s not a very good one.”

More snickering by the teenager.

The next morning my eyes fly open and my first thought is “Move the elf. Move the elf.”

I came downstairs to find he was gone. The snickering teenager took pity on the little kids and moved it herself.

I was determined to do better. So the next night I stood with the elf in hand after everyone was in bed and tried to come up with something fantastic.

I have a friend who is very creative with her elf. She even once had it roasting miniature marshmallows on a toothpick over a candle flame when her kids came down for breakfast. She also takes hot Paninis to the school when she visits for lunch. She makes homemade Lego Halloween costumes and tiles the bath. All of this while suffering from chronic anemia. I told her that if she ever gets blood there will be no telling what she will accomplish and that I may then not be able to be her friend anymore because she will make me feel too bad about myself.

So I stood there, Elf in hand, trying to think like her. Nothing clicked. Finally, I spotted a toy car on the ground. Ah, ha! I would place the car on top of the entertainment center and have the elf drive the car. Brilliant!

The kids came down the next morning and stood beneath the entertainment center staring up at the elf.

“Why is he in a car way up there?”

“Hey- that’s my car.”

“What the heck?”

The teenager snickered behind her bacon.

Stupid elf.


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