Introvert + 5 Kids= Conflict

I am an introvert…who had five children.  There is a conflict here.

This year, I am pretty sure there was a Doctor Who worthy “wibbly wobbly timey wimey” thing that happened during Christmas break which extended it from a couple of weeks into, I don’t know, maybe a couple of years.

Introverts are weird and this is a perfect example of it. I adore my kids. No joking- they are my favorite people in the world. I love hanging out with them. They make me laugh. They make my soul sing.

But let them be here 24/7 for weeks (years… timey wimey whatever…) and my whole brain slows way down. Forget writing anything, I can’t even compose complete sentences, especially when I hear my name over and over and over…

Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!

I AM TRYING TO GO TO THE BATHROOM! AND YOU ARE 14 (11,13…) YEARS OLD! GIVE ME FIVE MINUTES!

I am in awe of people who homeschool their children. I have so much respect for the patience, organization, intelligence and sheer excellence it requires to educate one’s own children. I can tell you right now that if my kids were homeschooled they would all have about a first grade education.

“Mom, isn’t it time for math?”

“Go out and play.”

“It is 20 degrees.”

“Here is a coat and a thermos of coffee.”

“Is this decaf?

“No, caffeine is good for your brain. We will talk about that next, um week, in science.”

“What about math?”

“Math is a government conspiracy. We will discuss it during social studies…tomorrow.”

When my kids were small, everyone assumed I homeschooled because I had five kids. Once, someone approached me with a “homeschooling question”. I politely informed them that I could not help them because I was a huge fan of the public school system and the yellow bus they sent to my house promptly at 6:56 every single morning. This precious woman was shocked. I explained that God makes everyone unique and that He just didn’t cut me out of homeschooling cloth.

A dad from another homeschool family overheard and began to mock me.

“Oh, God, Moses said, I can not do this thing because I have stumbling lips!” He intoned very sarcastically.

I had to work on forgiving that guy.

So, introverts rejoice! The wibbly wobbly timey wimey conundrum of Christmas break is over at last. The kids are back to being educated. The house is quiet once again.

Until the next snow day.