This morning as I sit on the front porch with Alastor the Rescue Mutt, he is serene and watchful and I am deeply weary.
I have been running too fast and working too hard.
And I am missing my child.
My oldest daughter has been in Europe for more than a week now. Last night, for the first time since she left, I heard snatches of her voice through a broken internet line.
Now, now…she seems ever so much further away.
As I sit here on the porch swing, Alastor has finished his survey of my world, deemed it safe and drifted off to sleep.
As for me, I am taking a moment to look around. My roses haven’t been touched all summer. I haven’t watered or fertilized a single plant along the front walk. The plants I bought for the front steps are finally in their pots but only because one of the kids had mercy on them yesterday.
Last night, a neighbor asked me what happened to my “sassy, spiky hair”. I reached one hand up to touch the top of my head and realized I have been too tired to care.
This is a little bit scary.
Then the words of Moses’ song from Psalm 90 break through it all-
Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations…
In the Hebrew, the words “dwelling place” reflect a covenant relationship like that of marriage.
Lord, forever and ever, through my wandering, my weakness, the good and the bad, I have been Yours and and You have been mine…
Then a little further down in the Psalm-
Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. (vs 14)
Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love…
It is hard here sometimes, sad and weary too, but the steadfast love of God is always more than enough for our hungry souls.