You looked into the darkest places.
The moments seared by grief.
The long, weary nights, drenched in tears.
You paused in front of the gaping moments of sorrow in your life.
The days you lost the most,
Were betrayed the most brutally.
You stood in front of all of the decisions you wish you hadn’t made.
Gathered every regret in the palms of your hands.
This is my story too.
And I will be grateful because…
God was there.
He was always there in the middle of it all.
Redeeming it all.
Using it all to prepare me for His service.
Because He wastes nothing.
And nothing can separate me from His love.
So, I will give thanks.
I will give thanks for it all.
I will lift my head without shame,
Turn my face toward the rising sun.
And I will dance.
“The mystery of the dance is that its movements are discovered in the mourning. To heal is to let the Holy Spirit call me to dance, to believe again, even amid my pain, that God will orchestrate and guide my life.”- Henri Nouwen
One Reply to “What If…”
A friend wrote this the other week and I think it reflects what you are saying here: ‘To be weak, to feel pain, to be afraid, to worry, to doubt, is all part of what it means to be finite human beings. Too often we allow this to be the birthplace of condemnation and berating ourselves for our lack of faith in the face of the storms of life. Real faith is not the absence of these things, rather it involves the acknowledgement of these things, really feeling them and hearing the whisper of the Spirit saying “Do not fear, do not be anxious, come to me you who are heavy laden, lift your eyes and know that I am with you and you do not have to carry this alone.” It is the humility present in a faltering act of trust that gives these things to God while not yet fully understanding. It is about acknowledging our strengths and gifts as well as our flaws and limitations, offering what I can an refusing to be ashamed for what I cannot.’ When we are real with each other and willing to share our storms as well as our moments of triumph and joy, then we begin to break down the I’m fine mentality that if often around us and only giving one sided view of ourselves to others.